Monday, November 2, 2009

Goodwill Holds Up Nose at Undead

 my daughter wanted to be a corpse bride this halloween.  i thought "great!  easiest costume ever!" what i was picturing was walking into Goodwill and purchasing an old outdated wedding dress for around 20 bucks.  WRONG!  really Goodwill?  REALLY?  80 dollars for that skanky, puffed sleeved, circa 1980's catastrophe?  i mean, c'mon Goodwill!  does that hand sewn, 1970's, polyester monstrosity carry so much hidden value?  really?  is it in the arm pit stains?  or the torn hem?  perhaps in the SMELL?  but surely Goodwill, SURELY that dress with all the questionable stains on it will be below 60 dollars?  after all, you're GOODWILL!   people GIVE you unwanted items.  i'm almost positive that the woman who gave you that bow bedecked, bedazzled, bohemoth would have kept it had she thought for an instant that it was worth 79.99.  really Goodwill?  REALLY?  listen goodwill, i am your biggest fan.  truly i am!  the kitchen table that i am writing this on is from you, as is my living room wardrobe and a painted dresser next to my bed.  you have treated me well in the past.  i have found yarn and material in your hidden depths.  this time goodwill, well, this time you let me down.  we aren't talking designer labels, no hand sewn glass beading or intricate lacing here.  you got greedy Goodwill.   should we change your name to GOODGREEDY?

sigh. i'm going to forgive you and give you a second chance Goodwill.  we all make mistakes and  i did end up getting a costume from you.  i had to sew it all together and do a lot more work than i originally anticipated but ok.  i'm good at stuff like that so i'll let you off the hook.
one more thing before i go, just a little warning, if, in the next couple weeks, i go into one of your stores and find the prices dropped on all your wedding dresses, then i'll KNOW.  i'll know Goodwill that you jacked up the prices for Halloween, and there will be a day of reckoning.   i'm watching you Goodwill.  i'm watching you.

. one cream, long sleeved lacy top, size 4: $4.99
. one yellowish, empire waist, sleeveless bridesmaid dress, size 4: $6.99
. one pair of size 11w, white dress shoes: $2.99
. one extra long, lace table cothe: $3.99
. one bag of bugs: $2.99
. one makeup kit: $6.00

  one undead bride who clawed her way out of the grave to find her stolen wedding band: priceless.